Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 16, 2005 20:27:41 GMT -5
This is a short story I wrote for school. Hope ya like.
“Shhh!” Mingmei reprimanded Li for letting out an excited gasp as she realized what they had just stumbled upon. In reply, Li smiled, but then nodded somberly as her expression changed to show she was paying close attention to what was being said not too far off… The two girls were twins, were mysterious, they had a bond unlike any other. They were Mingmei and Li. They were said by some, to be molded by the gods themselves. (Though the people stating that ended up being the superstitious ones who didn’t really understand much anyway.) Li’s hair, like her sister’s, was a long silk river, as deep and black as the edges of a night sky, the light reflected off as stars, twinkling and mesmerizing. Li’s eyes were a sparkling silver color, which often danced happily in the light. Mingmei’s eyes were a sky blue hue, and expressed wisdom, undistracted and precise. Their eyes were the only discrepancies in their appearances, and otherwise were exactly identical. Li thought back to that morning when this whole predicament had begun. But Li liked to think of it as an adventure, the most exciting of things that happened in this small town. That morning was like any other; Li had awoken to the clear sunlight and cool breeze flowing through their slightly open window. Li and Mingmei had gotten up and started the day off, just as any other, with the everyday morning noises of Saioux in the background. As they were just about to greet their parents that morning, and then start the morning chores, they heard tentative whispers. “But, he can’t do this!” The two girls heard their mother hiss, seemingly desperate and angry from the tone of her voice. “Well, he is, and I have no way to prove it isn’t true!” their father sighed, exasperatedly. At this point, the girls exchanged a confused and curious look, and Mingmei motioned for her sister return back to their small room.
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Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 18, 2005 17:23:39 GMT -5
When they were back in their room, and Mingmei had closed the door, she asked, ”What do you think that was about?” Li shook her head and shrugged, she seemed not to care, or think it was none of their business. “Well, lets go say good morning before they miss us!” Li suggested cheerily, and lead the way to their parents’ bedroom. The two sisters knocked at their parent’s bamboo door, and after a quick response, went in. They bowed and greeted their parents in the formal tradition their entire family had upheld for many years. After seeing off their two brothers to school, they then started on their daily chores. Li was in the garden, where they grew most of their vegetables. Mingmei was a few feet away, cleaning the tools her father used for his business. The tools were for making clay pots. Their father was one of the most skilled sculptors in China. All of his creations were detailed, and precise down to the last centimeter. He made them in a special room, set aside from the house, and closer to the nature behind their humble housing. He often said he was inspired by the small stream and vast amount of trees that surrounded their house. Mingmei was assigned this task, because of all her siblings, she was the most patient and careful, cleaning the supplies with extreme gentleness and care. Meanwhile, Li, pulled the weeds out from between the rows of vegetables. Mingmei paused, and Li noticed the absence of the rhythmic swishing of Mingmei’s rag. Li got up and asked Mingmei what was wrong. Li had a way of making you feel you can open up to her, and no matter how ridiculous your thoughts seemed, she would never laugh or scoff. Mingmei sighed. “I just can’t stop thinking about what we heard this morning.” Li bit her lip in thought. “I don’t know of anything we could do to help. We don’t even know what’s wrong”, Li said gently. Mingmei’s expression lightened a bit. “Yes, I suppose you’re right, if they needed our help, we would know, right?” Li smiled in response. Crash! The two girls’ heads jerked up simultaneously, looking for the source of the noise. “It-“, Li started to exclaim, but was interrupted when Mingmei’s better judgement got to her, and she covered her sister’s mouth. Mingmei put a finger to her mouth, and Li nodded to show she understood. The two slid off the table they had been previously sitting on, and crept to the doorway, staying against the wall. The crash had sounded like a broken pot, and had come from the direction of the great kiln, a few yards away. Li let out a small gasp when she saw a man creep out of the shadows, and dart across the yard, into the trees.
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Post by Adam on Jun 20, 2005 14:19:05 GMT -5
Wow. Very good story.
I love how you put so much detail into it. Telling exactly what the characters looks like, and portraying images perfectly. You're a very good writer.
Is that the end to the story, or is there more?
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Post by Jess on Jun 21, 2005 16:18:09 GMT -5
I certainly hope there's more. That doesn't seem like a proper ending.
It is very good, Alyssa. Great job!
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Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 21, 2005 18:02:35 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much! I was getting a little worried at first when no one had replied to it...I was like "Did it suck that much?!" lol And that's definately not the ending!
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Post by Jess on Jun 21, 2005 18:47:15 GMT -5
Oh, goodie! ;D
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Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 22, 2005 17:13:13 GMT -5
Li’s eyes widened as she saw the figure disappear from sight, bulging object cradled in it’s arms. Li whispered tentatively, “We need to go after him!” And before Mingmei could stop her, or even utter a syllable of disagreement, Li had darted over to the kiln. As she peered in, she saw that many pots were missing. The masterpiece that her father had been working on for the past two months requested by one of the Dukes that ruled over their region was missing. The Duke was quite ill tempered and would be very angry if he didn’t get the pot he had been eagerly awaiting. Li sprinted into the trees, aiming for the spot the figure disappeared into. Mingmei bounded in after her sister, doubting that this would come to any good. Li and Mingmei suddenly came to an opening in the trees, and they had to stop short, almost falling out of the cover of the trees in the process. “Shhh!” Mingmei reprimanded Li for letting out an excited gasp as she realized what they had just stumbled upon. In reply, Li smiled, but then nodded somberly as her expression changed to show she was paying close attention to what was being said not too far off. “Sir! I have retrieved the pot you requested, sir!” a male voice shouted proudly. “Very good, did you have any trouble? Anyone see you?” this was inquired by a very demanding, bossy man. “Well, we shall just have to add it to the collection, and move on, ” the man continued venomously, ”The Duke will be very upset, and we must get as far away as possible! As you should know, the Duke is a very unforgiving man, and if I’m not mistaken, he will probably burn the whole city in anger.” A chorus of voices erupted in laughter, and Mingmei looked at her sister in dismay. They had definitely not expected more people, obviously thieves! But her sister did not return the tentative look, in fact, her eyes were glazed over as if in a daydream. Li blinked, shook her head and looked like she just now realized where she was. Mingmei shook her head. Only Li could lose herself in her imaginations at a time like this, she thinks. *present tense* Mingmei turns her attention back to the caravan of thieves. She watches, as two men carefully wrap the pottery in cloth under the hawk-like eye of the leader. One of the men stumbles. Time seems to stop, as the man carrying one end of the precious cargo fights to regain his balance. Mingmei, Li, and the other thieves all seem to hold their breath. The man catches sight of the leader’s you-better-not glare, and recovers immediately. They place it in a small wagon towed by a lone mule, and begin to pack up and leave.
*A/n Sorry if the tenses are a bit confusing, but the beginning of the story was supposed to be Li going over the beginning of the day in her head. I could change the tenses if you really need me too.*
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Post by Jess on Jun 22, 2005 18:01:11 GMT -5
The tenses are fine. I want to see what happens!! PMS! (post more soon)
jess ;D
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Post by *~PoOkIe~* on Jun 22, 2005 18:44:27 GMT -5
u post it on my site?
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Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 22, 2005 19:47:46 GMT -5
lol, Kc, thats all you have to say? I think I did.. i just dessperately need to update it. I only put it on one though, I am really falling behind. I blame this on my computer. Every hour or so, it freezes, so i turn it off and find sumtihn else to do...
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Post by Jess on Jun 23, 2005 7:21:09 GMT -5
Three words, Alyssa: Get. A. Mac.
lol. ;D
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Post by *~PoOkIe~* on Jun 23, 2005 10:33:36 GMT -5
lol
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Lyss118
Third Year
*~Not eVerYthiNg is aS it seEms~*
Posts: 104
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Post by Lyss118 on Jun 24, 2005 22:08:33 GMT -5
Thanx for the advice, Jess but unless one falls from the sky, I believe I'll have to be sticking to the one I have. ;D Soo heres the end...
Mingmei rapidly begins gathering grasses from the ground beneath her and her sister. Li looks at her sister questioningly and begins to doubt her sanity. But then she quickly dismisses the thought, her twin sister being the smartest, most sane person she knew. Li begins to gather grasses just as her sister is, seeing Mingmei use more confident strokes as she sees her sister following her lead. When Mingmei sees that they together had gathered enough straw and grasses, she motions for her sister to stop. She begins to lead her sister around the edge of the clearing, being careful not to be seen or heard. They make their way, slowly inching their way closer to where the thieves are preparing to leave. When they are finally close enough, but not too close as to be seen, Mingmei steps forward and does something that makes Li, once again, doubt her sister’s sanity. Li’s eyes widen in fear as she sees her sister step out from behind the trees. For Li, time seems to stop. Mingmei moves gracefully and quickly, as if she were part of the wind itself. She writhes up to the lone mule and tempts it with the straw. The mule starts reaching for it, and Mingmei swiftly moves back a fraction of an inch. In this manner, Mingmei lured the mule to the trees, and when done, disconnected the mule from the small wagon, and throws the remaining straw to the mule, on the ground. Li and Mingmei haul the wagon toward their house, going as quickly and quietly as they could. When they are sure they are out of earshot, they abandon their attempts to stay silent, and break out in a run. Li giggles quietly as she savors the wind flying through her hair, and her skirt billowing out behind her as she runs. When they reach their house, they are quite out of breath, and find their mother and father looking very distressed in the yard, near the kiln. “Mother!” Li gasps, as loudly as she could. Their parents run to them, confusion, fury, and relief all displayed on their faces. Mingmei and Li embrace their mother tightly, as their father was the first to speak. “What is this?!” he asks, indicating the wagon, with odd bumps and shapes sticking out. He didn’t wait for an answer, and unwraps the closest thing he could reach. His eyes displayed confusion, and hurt at the sight. Mingmei realized what her father must be thinking, when she opened her mouth to explain. But she was interrupted. The bamboo door slammed as the Duke, a very furious Duke stormed out of the house. “ I am tired of waiting! Have you made me my pottery or not?!” He demands, and seeing the family together he added, “ Is this a family reunion, or am I going to get what I came halfway across China for?” spit flies as he yells. Li, who happens to have the misfortune of standing closest to him, makes a disgusted face and wipes it off with her sleeve. The Duke’s eyes blaze with anger and impatience and he ignores Li. At that point, many angered thieves found their way to the scene. Mingmei and Li quickly and carefully hoist up the large vessel the Duke had demanded, unwrap it, shove it at him. Looking suddenly pleased and awed, the Duke’s anger shifted to the thieves, coming obliviously out of the trees. “Somebody explain!” The Duke demanded sternly. Li and Mingmei were more than happy to oblige. A Siamese cat wanders into the yard. It’s eyes, which are like huge pools of deep blue, reflect the shining moon. Li sees the cat. It vanishes as suddenly as it appears.
<the cats not important, it just makes the end sound less abrupt>
~~ThE EnD~~
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Post by Jess on Jun 25, 2005 8:44:32 GMT -5
That was really, really good, Alyssa! I love the way you write. It's way better than mine, actually.
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Post by *~PoOkIe~* on Jun 25, 2005 9:19:49 GMT -5
I think it was good but like I've said to her, i'm not a big fan of the way she writes, though her stories are good. I think you write too complicated Alyssa. LOL. You get what I mean Mrs. Sarcasm *PS: This is not flamming! ;D
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